I was in one of my thought experiment moods — that space where your mind drifts so far it begins to create its own world.
I saw myself walking in a vast desert. The kind of desert that feels alive, where the air itself hums. It was empty, endless, yet it didn’t feel lonely — just honest.
After walking for what felt like hours, I saw something glittering in the distance. As I got closer, I realized it was a mirror — huge, almost frightening in its size, standing upright in the middle of the sand, as if it had grown out of the earth.
When I looked into it, I saw myself — exactly as I am in this world. But there was another energy to her. She looked like the version of me I often meet in my head — the one who says what I silence, who lives without asking for permission.
She smiled at me, calm, almost amused.
Then she said, “You can ask me anything.”
I didn’t think. The questions came out before I could stop them.
“Why did I live in fear?
Why did I build fears and then hide inside them?
Why did I live the life I wanted only in my head?”
She didn’t answer right away. The wind shifted, and her reflection seemed to waver, but her eyes stayed locked on mine.
Then she said, quietly:
“Because you thought fear kept you safe.
You believed you were being wise, being responsible, being patient.
But really, you were just avoiding yourself.
You let the world convince you that being careful was strength — and you wore that like armor. But it was only a disguise.”
I felt something in my chest tighten — not guilt, not regret, just recognition.
She went on, softer now:
“You lived in your head because it was easier to be brave there.
Easier to imagine courage than to risk losing comfort.
But you were never small. You just acted small to be understood.”
The mirror began to blur — her image fading back into mine. I reached out, but my hand met only heat and air.
And then I was alone again — standing in that endless desert, staring at my reflection until it was gone.
But the silence that followed wasn’t empty. It was full — like something in me had finally stopped pretending.
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